And here she is: thirst.
A parable about a drowning
man. A skull found by the edge
of a river. Gully of a mouth,
bank of a woman. What can
be filled with bird song alone?
The body craves. Contact. Salt
living like an eel on my tongue.
Whereas the pills are a chart
of little stars. Whereas chemistry
is a love song between two wards.
Whereas she told me: “you will
become more of who you are.”
Her name a net in which we
catch my self. The diagnosis
thumbs the pages of my spine:
a diagram of want marked
here. A warning. A prophecy
on brittleness. A fable on
the origins of heat
humming in commune
with my blood the skull,
its mouth cracked
open, miming “feed.”
Image: “Skull”, In Hiatus, licensed under CC 2.0.
Dani Janae:
I wrote this poem after, as the title suggests, meeting with my psychiatrist. The next step was finding and clinging to images that evoked some sort of understanding of myself and my feelings for her; what the body craves translated into a need for something or someone I know I can not have. The central image, the skull, is both the cradle for the brain that is the genesis of these emotions and also the mechanism by which the emotions are spoken into existence. I understand transference and how we often develop feelings for people who make us feel like ourselves, and I think that is both the crux of the poem and my relationship with her.
Dani Janae is a poet and journalist living and writing in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She earned her BA in Creative Writing from Allegheny College and returned home to Pittsburgh after graduating. Her poetry deals with the physical and emotional legacy of trauma and addiction, and the intersecting history of her identity as a black, lesbian, woman. Her work has been published by Argot Magazine, Pittsburgh Poetry Journal, Palette Poetry, Wax Nine Journal, Levee Magazine, Thin Air Magazine, and Slush Pile Magazine. She is a contributing writer at Autostraddle.
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